Adoption Stories

Why adoption?

This is the story of June and Bill. Like many people, they knew they wanted to be parents one day. They got married early 2012. Shortly after getting married they began trying to get pregnant. After 12 months with no sign of success, they sought out medical support. It wasn't a big surprise that to them that they might need support with their fertility jounrney. June had always had irratic periods. She had also previously been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). Common side effects of PCOS (at least those relevant to this story) include:

Unfortunately despite initial optimism, their experience of the NHS when it came to support with PCOS and fertility left a lot to be desired. When not actively trying to get pregnant, the recommended treatment for a woman with PCOS and irregular periods had been the pill, or other similar contraceptive. Effective, in June's case the pill stopped her periods completely. Unfortunately contraceptives have this nasty habit of preventing pregnancy.

June has always struggled with her weight. This was worse when not on the contraceptive pill. At the stage of seeking support with fertility June had tried to lose weight, had looked to the NHS for support with this. A referral to weight watchers and an off-label prescription later, and June had managed to lose some weight, but not enough for the NHS to offer IVF. One particular consultation stands out as the moment the couple realised that their hope of NHS support with fertility was futile. A rude, and themselves significantly overweight, Doctor spent the entire consultation lecturing June on the need to lose weight and how it wasn't that hard.

It took time, but June and Bill began to accept that they would not be parents. They built a life without children and did their best to move on. Though there was always the nagging sensation that something was missing.

Day -2 We aren't quite there yet...

Years have gone by. June and Bill are driving home from a fabulous week in the highlands, still buzzing from seeing the northern lights. During the intervening years they have built a wonderful life together and are content. During the drive home from Scotland they receive a message from their closest friends. A photograph. An ultrasound. Labeled "Baby One" and "Baby Two". Their closest friends were preganant with twins. Baby’s three and four. Of course, they are over the moon for their friends. Twins was a surprise, but them having another child wasn't. They knew their friends wanted a large family. But still, whenever they heard the news that someone close to them was expecting, it opened up old wounds. They joy of the holiday faded. The greiving of their own infertility returned.

Day 1 - The first day of the rest of their lives

The rest of their drive home from Scotland had been quiet. As had the following day. June in particular was struggling with how she was feeling. In an effort to lift the mood ahead of the following days return to work, Bill persuaded June to go out for some lunch. On the drive to restaurant conversaiton turned to the news of the twins, and to their own infertility. This ultimately led to the most important part of this journey:

Bill: "Are we ready to consider adoption now?

June: "Yes, I think so."

Both adoption and fostering had come up in the past. But it had never quite felt right. Something was different now though. This time, they felt ready. On the rest of the drive to restaurant they discussed and agreed that they would look into adoption. That they would move forward with whatever the first step was. And as they progressed through the journey, they would check in at every stage and make sure the other was ok, discuss what they had learnt, and re-commit to continue moving forward. They arrive at the restaurant and are seated at a table. Bill looks up the local adoption agency options for their county and reads a little about the process, sharing this with June. Then, before their server has even taken an order, the contact form is filled in and submitted. They have completed the first step, they have contacted an adoption agency.